Posts
(From 7/2/09)
It’s days like this that make me wish I didn’t work in a corporate cube environment. I have it pretty good; no strict dress code, a computer to goof off on all day, a job where I get to sit on my ass. But sometimes, the monotony is draining, and the rules are constraining, and I start counting down the hypothetical two years till I quit and start my own business.
My new laptop arrived today. I had it sent to work as it’s not safe for such an item to sit at my front door all day, especially in the torrential rain we’ve been having. But I can’t play with it, because it’s against the rules. No non-company electronics, peripherals, etc. allowed at your desk. That means no cell, iPod, radio, etc. I am beyond bored, and I have fun sitting on the counter over there, mocking me. Too bad.
I’m stuck here also unable to download anything. Or watch YouTube. Facebook JUST starting working again, and I think it’s because they let their internet filter service expire since we’re low on money. I’m sure I’m starting to annoy people with my constant Facebook quiz results and new Bejeweled high scores. That got old fast. What next? Twitter? I follow 119 people currently, mainly because I refresh it so often that I get annoyed seeing no new updates. I click on the articles and funny pictures and then I’m bored again.
Can’t read a book. Need to look like I’m working. As long as I’m on a computer, I’m “working.” But reading a book in between orders? Oh no no, not here.
Also, my cube is one of five that are in the hallway. Yes, you read that right, the HALLWAY. We don’t take customer phone calls so we don’t need the privacy of a bay like the rest of them. But guess what we do get? Every single stupid co-worker who thinks the hallway is a GREAT place to have a personal, loud, or otherwise embarrassing cell phone conversation. They know we’re here. They know we’re working (sometimes). They just DON’T CARE. I once heard a girl yell into her phone, “When I get to that bitch’s crib, I’m gonna mess some shit up.” Seriously. And most people here have college degrees. I’m not sure where they found HER.
That back-up career plan? Wedding planner. I’m having so much fun with my own that I’m seriously considering it as a career. The plan is to start taking classes after my wedding, then use my sabbatical month that I get at my five-year anniversary to start setting it up. Come back from sabbatical, BAM two-weeks notice, and Sarah’s on a new path to a new life. Working from home, on MY schedule, on MY rules. Goddamn, that sounds good.
Jinx
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Showing posts with label office. Show all posts
Showing posts with label office. Show all posts
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Potty talk
(From 4/15/09)
I am fairly certain that you can deduce a lot about the employees of a company based on the company bathrooms. My desk is right outside the single-person bathroom, so I see EVERYTHING. I believe I work with imbeciles. Here are my reasons.
I’m pretty sure I was told at a very young age never to flush anything other than toilet paper. Paper towels are a no-no. So why is it, in a bathroom with TWO trash baskets, that people insist on trying to flush them? We’re not out of toilet paper. The paper towels are inaccessible from the toilet. So someone dries their hands, or blows their nose, or gods-know-what, and flushes the paper towels. Now it’s clogged for the rest of the day. Good job.
On the same note, there are two trash baskets. Throw stuff away instead of dropping it on the floor. Or flushing it, but we already covered that.
Ladies, we have one of those “sanitary waste disposal units.” It’s very handy. USE IT. Trying to flush that stuff is just GROSS. Yes, we’ve had that problem. More than once.
Guys, we know you pee standing up and don’t need to use TP. Good for you. But please, for the love of all that’s holy, FLUSH YOUR PEE. There’s a thing called splash-back. Gross. We don’t want it. Yes, this is a common problem, even though our company is only 25% male.
I have a saying, “If at first you don’t succeed, flush flush again.” More times than I’d like to count, I enter the bathroom to find all kinds of unsavory eliminations still occupying the bowl. I flush, and lo and behold, it goes away! Wouldn’t it be lovely if the person who put them there tried the same thing?
I have a small room freshener spray at my desk. I often have to use it after other people use the bathroom so I can enter and still breathe. If people brought their own, everyone’s life would be happier. And less stinky. Especially for me, who sits right outside the bathroom. Yeah, you’ve seen me. And I know what you did in there. o.O
“If you sprinkle while you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat.” I can’t take credit for that one. And my company can’t take credit for following it, because no one does. Again, gross.
My life near the bathroom has its ups and downs. I can go as often as I’d like, I know when it’s empty so I can dash in, and I drink water all damn day. But with these issues, I sometimes wonder if it’s worth it. I seriously think I work with 5-year-olds. Someone needs to bring them to the potty and inspect everything when they’re done. Obviously they can’t handle it. It would be lovely if one day, my company treated their bathrooms like their own, as if they’d actually have to clean it. The poor Hispanic guy who DOES clean it would appreciate it too. Thank you.
I am fairly certain that you can deduce a lot about the employees of a company based on the company bathrooms. My desk is right outside the single-person bathroom, so I see EVERYTHING. I believe I work with imbeciles. Here are my reasons.
I’m pretty sure I was told at a very young age never to flush anything other than toilet paper. Paper towels are a no-no. So why is it, in a bathroom with TWO trash baskets, that people insist on trying to flush them? We’re not out of toilet paper. The paper towels are inaccessible from the toilet. So someone dries their hands, or blows their nose, or gods-know-what, and flushes the paper towels. Now it’s clogged for the rest of the day. Good job.
On the same note, there are two trash baskets. Throw stuff away instead of dropping it on the floor. Or flushing it, but we already covered that.
Ladies, we have one of those “sanitary waste disposal units.” It’s very handy. USE IT. Trying to flush that stuff is just GROSS. Yes, we’ve had that problem. More than once.
Guys, we know you pee standing up and don’t need to use TP. Good for you. But please, for the love of all that’s holy, FLUSH YOUR PEE. There’s a thing called splash-back. Gross. We don’t want it. Yes, this is a common problem, even though our company is only 25% male.
I have a saying, “If at first you don’t succeed, flush flush again.” More times than I’d like to count, I enter the bathroom to find all kinds of unsavory eliminations still occupying the bowl. I flush, and lo and behold, it goes away! Wouldn’t it be lovely if the person who put them there tried the same thing?
I have a small room freshener spray at my desk. I often have to use it after other people use the bathroom so I can enter and still breathe. If people brought their own, everyone’s life would be happier. And less stinky. Especially for me, who sits right outside the bathroom. Yeah, you’ve seen me. And I know what you did in there. o.O
“If you sprinkle while you tinkle, please be neat and wipe the seat.” I can’t take credit for that one. And my company can’t take credit for following it, because no one does. Again, gross.
My life near the bathroom has its ups and downs. I can go as often as I’d like, I know when it’s empty so I can dash in, and I drink water all damn day. But with these issues, I sometimes wonder if it’s worth it. I seriously think I work with 5-year-olds. Someone needs to bring them to the potty and inspect everything when they’re done. Obviously they can’t handle it. It would be lovely if one day, my company treated their bathrooms like their own, as if they’d actually have to clean it. The poor Hispanic guy who DOES clean it would appreciate it too. Thank you.
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