Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Rape Jokes Aren't Funny

WARNING: This post contains rape triggers.

So, I was going to start this post with a screen shot of the tweets that inspired it, but of course he deleted them. Can't say I'm disappointed though.

Therefore, here are the tweets almost exactly as written; as they happened just a few minutes ago, I recall them very well.

Random guy retweeted by MothPete: No matter how many times I tell them "Sshhh," I can't get girls to stop screaming with excitement when I give them surprise hugs in a parking garage.
Me to MothPete: Wow, a rape joke. Classy. Unfollowed.
MothPete to me: Sshhh.

Not only did he RT a rape joke, but he felt the need to throw the punchline back at me. I then blocked him. I don't want to hear another word from him. I wonder if he thought better of his actions though, as he deleted both of those tweets soon after.

Not only is the joke tasteless, but it's a HUGE rape trigger for unsuspecting followers, and makes a joke of something that has ruined countless women's lives. How is that funny? Why is that worth sharing?

When I was 11, I was babysitting my 5-year-old sister one summer afternoon while our parents were out. Our neighborhood was full of kids, and we visited her friend Raymond's house to hang out with them. Raymond was her age, and he had a 17-year-old half-brother. The little ones played in the playroom, while myself, the 17-year-old Billy, a 14-year-old boy, two 13-year-old girls, and a ten-year-old girl hung out in the living room and decided to play Truth or Dare. Yes, it was an odd assortment of ages, and unfortunately these kids tended to be quite cruel to me, but I desperately wanted to fit in.

The game started with stupid things: standing on your head, admitting crushes, etc. I should have known it was out of my league when I was dared to kiss the 14-year-old and he shoved his tongue so far down my throat, I literally gagged. That was my first kiss. I don't count it as such, but it technically was. Disgusting.

Not long after, I was dared to go into Billy's bedroom with him and let him go as far as he wanted until I said "Stop." Yes, I kept choosing Dare, because the deep parts of me they were trying to get at with Truth questions were even harder for me. Plus, picking Dare was "cool." So I did it. We went in his room.

He locked the door behind us, which immediately worried me. He gently pushed me and I fell on the bed in shock. I immediately said "Stop," but he laughed and said that's not how it works. He climbed on top of me, lifted my shirt, and started kissing my stomach. I again said "Stop!" and started to struggle. He got angry and tried to hold me down, but I was tiny and wiggly and squirmed away, unlocking the door and running out of the room before he could stop me.

I immediately grabbed my sister and headed home without saying a word to anyone else. I was still in shock. Even at that age, I knew it was disgusting for a 17-year-old to even WANT to do things like that to someone my age. I felt sick to my stomach and finally realized what messed-up kids these were. Spoiled rich brats that always got what they wanted and played with my life for entertainment.

I never told my parents. My father either wouldn't have believed me or would have tried to kill the kid; I had no idea. My mom would have been livid but too scared to do anything. It was easier just to forget about it. After all, I wasn't "really" raped, I told myself.

That fall I attended a friend's birthday party; a group of kids all my age that I trusted. They started playing Truth or Dare and I ran into the closet and cried. I couldn't play the damn game again till college.

Yes, I was lucky. I wasn't raped, my virginity wasn't ripped from me, I didn't have to endure someone unwanted inside of me. But I was violated, body and mind. I was hurt. I was damaged.

This is the tip of the iceberg of what rape does. I can't even imagine what it's like for others. I tell this story because it wasn't my fault and I'm not ashamed. Rape is never your fault. And it's NOT A JOKE.

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

Dreaming of Spring

It's almost here.  It's so close I can taste it.  It's nearly...SPRING!

You know what that means?  MOTORCYCLE WEATHER!

Since last year was my first full season riding my own motorcycle, this winter has been particularly hard.  And long.  And depressing.  Some days all I wanna do is go RIDE.  But I can't.  :(

It's so close now.  Weekend trips up to New Hampshire to try some new restaurant.  Quick evening jaunts to Woburn to hang out at our friend Mark's ice cream shop Nanabette's.  Aimless rides into western Mass. with our cameras in tow for scenic shots.  CAN.  NOT.  WAIT.

In the meantime, I'll do what I do best: shop online.  ;)  Or at least "window shop."  I've found a new site I really love called RevZilla.  They have a shop, forum, contests, and you can earn TeamZilla cash toward future purchases.  I just created an account, entered their current contest, and started browsing around today.

It actually turns out my husband bought his helmet from them last year.  Unfortunately he didn't clue me in to what an awesome website it is!  ;)

They have a pretty extensive selection of women's gear.  I've been lusting after the leather jackets, since mine is too big on me.  This is a particularly gorgeous one:


It's a STEAL at only $159.95.  I love the waist buckle and multitude of zippered pockets, and it's available all the way up to a 3X, which is rare.  I often only see up to L, sometimes XL.

I like my bright red helmet but always dream of getting one with a really fun design.  This one is too gorgeous:


I have a thing for red.  ;)

So here we are.  March 1...staring down the barrel of the equinox.  We just got some more snow, but it looks like we might finally be done.  As soon as the roads are 100% clear and the temp hits about 60...we're off!

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

The Etsy Drama

I'm sick of arguing about it on Twitter, and 140 characters cannot allow clear expression of my thoughts.  I just want to make my feelings clear and put this to rest.

I believe in free speech.  I also believe that:

...a privately owned store or marketplace has the right to refuse to sell something.
...a store or marketplace whose Terms of Service state: “Use of mature, profane and/or racist language or images in the public areas of your Etsy shop is not permitted. This includes your username, Public Profile, item titles, tags, avatar, banner and/or shop selections” and “Items that promote or glorify hatred, racial, religious intolerance" has a RESPONSIBILITY to uphold those terms.
...nudity and swearing are not automatically inappropriate or offensive.
...anything glorifying rape IS and always WILL BE automatically inappropriate and offensive, no matter the circumstances.
...glorifying rape or making fun of AIDS or Down's Syndrome is hateful and has no place on Etsy.
...other sellers suffer when Etsy refuses to shut down a horribly hateful and inappropriate store. People will boycott Etsy, and innocent sellers suffer.  Etsy still makes money off our listing fees, and do not suffer with the rest of us.
...banning a store that glorifies hatred and makes fun of tragic diseases and birth defects will not start a "slippery slope."  There is nothing slippery about this situation.  It will not lead to the banning of artistic nudity. It will keep Etsy the loving, supportive community it was meant to be.

In my opinion, this is appropriate:
(Caution, nudity)

And this is NOT:

That's the best way I can explain how I feel about this.  For a much more eloquent explanation of the situation, please see this PRBreakfastClub blog.  Thank you.

Friday, January 7, 2011

Geek dating

I love to tell the story of how Simon and I met.  We met on CRAIG'S LIST for heaven's sake.  And ended up getting MARRIED.  Well, a long time ago, I was newly single at age 25 after ending a 6-year relationship.  I don't do bars or clubs, so what does a geek do?  She turns to the internet.  I put up ads on Yahoo personals, OK Cupid, Craig's List, whatever was free.  Here was my Craig's List ad:

Hello! I'm a positive, confident, outgoing Wiccan woman. My religion
is important to me, but I don't need to date another Pagan
necessarily. I'm 4'11", curvy, long brown hair and brown eyes. I love
singing, reading, computer games (WoW, D2, AOE, etc.), nature, animals
(especially cats, rodents, and reptiles), and lots of other random
stuff. I'm very easy-going and down to Earth. I'm looking for a guy
with some similar interests, a good sense of humor, around age 25-35.
I'd like a LTR eventually. So drop me a line, and a pic if you have
one, just cuz I'm curious. =)

Other than Simon's awesome email (which led to me asking him out), I got lots of weird weird weird responses.  Some gross, some mean, some just plain wrong.  I saved them all in Livejournal, which I logged back into tonight to find these to share with you.  Enjoy.  :)

(My comments are in brackets.)


[You can skim this one...]

I'm a good looking SWM, 180 lbs witty and a fun guy. Sweet, friendly, caring, been told a good kisser, trustworthy, affectionate, open-mind, respectful and responsible. I have to laugh at all the things we type in, like nice, normal and good hygiene.

Well I am normal, intelligent guy, have a good close family, a good circle of friends and a great job. Divorced have a daughter who lives in Kansas. Have had long term relationships. I hope to start another one again with the right person, don't smoke or drink, and work out by walking quite regular. Don't ask for much and I'm very easy going, someone that is a good communicator, can have my quiet moments, but a very good listener. I'm also understanding and attentive to a woman's needs, basically tuned in for the most part. I don't expect the world from somebody, but do look for certain things, like someone I can confide in and trust, someone that shares some of my interests, as I hope to share hers.

I think chemistry is very important, too. You can feel it if it is there almost instantly when you meet someone. I want to be close with someone, think true love comes with time, but can come quickly, depending. What is really important is the trust and understanding that develops between the both of us.

My stats:
*5'8" Tall, 32
*Dark Brown Hair
*Brown Eyes
*Medium Build. I'm in good shape and exercise often.
*I own a home in Chelmsford.
*Professional Network Administrator
*I can hold an intelligent conversation on many topics.
*Close to my family
*Love to eat at new restaurants and don't smoke or drink.
*A good sense of adventure. I'll try just about anything. Love the Patriots, Outdoors, Softball, and being active. Movies (Netflix?) in or out are cool.

[Now imagine this with a border of sparkly stars and a pic of an old, ugly guy at the bottom.  Hmm.]

my nephew lives in revere on the water if you want to have a drink he is at xxx xxx xxxx

[Meddling aunt much???]


hi there, i read your post and i'm very curious about you being wiccan.

are you a real witch ?  a good one or a bad one ? you look to cute to
be a bad witch. how do you become one and do you have any special
powers ? just curious, thanks.........john

[Oh for goodness sake...]


hey whats  up 27m south shore  wanna  talk

[My, that's in-depth...really got my attention...NEXT!]



[Dude...wait, what?]



hello cutie im a warlock male witch id love to have some fun you a cute witch lets dance on the full moon xxx@xxx.com ill male a picture if you write  kisses rob. lets explore lifes misteries together i will cast a sexy love spell for us

[The second someone says they're a warlock...oy.  MALE WITCHES ARE NOT WARLOCKS.  They are witches.  Nice try...NOT!]


well --you may not be interested but it worth a shot
I am looking for someone who can just chill on a weekend night--maybe daytime.  cuddle up --lots of feeling -touching-maybe oral--sex more than once. ordering pizza--chinese in

I am a older white male

[Ew.  Nuff said.]

Im looking for a local submissive woman.

Fit attractive male here

[And may I repeat...ew.]


Hey how you doing my name is gerardo i live in revere im a part-time student and currently working for an ambulance company i love having fun fishing rock climbing, skydiving, video game, and flying aswell as thunderstorm. I hope I can really get to know you take care. You are very pretty

Sincearly your: gerardo

[I think this may be the meddling aunt's nephew!]


how r u? saw your ad online, thought of droping by few lines.
would u like to chat on icq/yahoo/aim, etc?
where r u located?age?
i m short 5'4,bald.dark skin,indian asian american,and small person
interested in talking?

[Location and age are in the ad...and...yeah.  No.]


since ur a witch can u cast a spell to make a serious court case go away?

[Oh for fuck's sake...]


Hi my name is Marcos I need k`now you,send mess thank you



I am looking for someone to teach me how to become a Warlock.

[AGAIN, with the warlock shit!]


if a 41yr old handsome guy scares you off, let me know,but here is my picture, I am down to earth easy going and an atheist and believe in just living life, well here is my picture if you find you might be interested I would look forward to getting you know you,here I am

[Too old, sorry...]


Just would like to know how bad you ar ??? what s ur limit ?? can u



Interested in getting to know me better? Yes, fisrt, sex pleaseeeeeeee

[Oh yeah, that turns me on...]


whats a pagan a motorcycle gang?

[Huh what?]


Love you are into withcraft. Bet you are the best woman a man could ever want. I have never tried to get a great woman as you. Nmae is Shawn am 31, 5'1" little muscular, be nice to find a woman so I can be more muscular for and have her enjoy me as me. Am a quiet man that loves to listen to others talk. Would love to get to know you alot more, what you want in a life. Shawn

[Okay, that's just SHORT. I mean, dude...you're a DUDE.]


Hi, my name is dan would you like to chat? I am a looking guy 6 feet 180lb brown hair green eyes.if you email me back I will give you my pic

[A looking guy, huh?]


Hmm you're cute heh

[Wow, I'm impressed...]



Nice pic... I like girls with curves (more feminine) and someone at least 6 inches shorter than myself.

I'm 5'8" white male with dark brown hair, green eyes, medium weight, healthy (former jock, two sports in college), very well-educated (Ivy League) and attractive. I am very easy going, and have a wry sense of humor. I am very passionate (albeit non-kinky) lover, which means lots of kissing, holding and touching. I'm looking for a friends with benefits relationship (emphasis on relationship), and hoping that it goes to LTR. I'm a bit older than you (41), but I'm sure you won't mind.

Please holler back if interested, and I wish you the best of luck.


[Yes I do mind, 41 is too old, and it's also too old to be saying "holler back"!]


[These next three lines are three separate emails from the same loser.]


also, i bet you play a human priest

or a nelf or something


[His name is Robert king if anyone wants a go at him, lol.]


hi there

i hope that this image expresses my wishes to you

well, i am really interested


[Followed by a pic of a boy and girl hugging, not sure who they are. Lame.]


i'm going to call you beautiful instead of hot..i'm going to
call you back when you hang up on me...im going to lay under the
*stars* and listen to your heartbeat, and will stay awake just 
to watch you sleep...im going to to show you off to the world 
when you're in sweats..im going to hold your hand in front my
friends and i find u as pretty without make-up...im going to 
constantly reminding you of how much I care and how lucky u 
are.. to me. i dont play no head games...im not shy. I have a 
photo for those of you who would be willing to share. I promise
you will not be disapointed.. im francisco live in 617 area no kids with a nice job and i play tennis, hope to hear from you

[Whoa...too much buddy, too much.]


[Wow.  Just…wow.]

Wednesday, January 5, 2011


I have some serious WoW burnout. I haven't played in a couple of weeks.  I love Cataclysm, I'm level 83 now, and the new content is cool.  I'm working on guild achievements and rep, and striving toward my goblin trike.  But every evening, I sit down to game and think "Meh."  I just don't feel like it.

Part of the reason may be my new addiction to Plants vs. Zombies, which, funny enough, is a direct result of the PvZ quest in WoW.  I've beat it twice on my iPhone and three times on my computer.  I have a Zen garden that produces thousands of (virtual) dollars a day.  I LOVE THIS GAME.  So I play it instead of WoW.

I think my husband is going to cancel my WoW subscription if I don't play soon.  I want to play, in a way, but it's too much mental work.  I just want to veg out on front of a (fairly) mindless game.  I don't want to THINK.  =P

Hopefully I'll get the WoW bug back soon.  I really do miss it.  Any advice for curing game burnout?