Rape Jokes Aren't Funny

WARNING: This post contains rape triggers.

So, I was going to start this post with a screen shot of the tweets that inspired it, but of course he deleted them. Can't say I'm disappointed though.

Therefore, here are the tweets almost exactly as written; as they happened just a few minutes ago, I recall them very well.

Random guy retweeted by MothPete: No matter how many times I tell them "Sshhh," I can't get girls to stop screaming with excitement when I give them surprise hugs in a parking garage.
Me to MothPete: Wow, a rape joke. Classy. Unfollowed.
MothPete to me: Sshhh.

Not only did he RT a rape joke, but he felt the need to throw the punchline back at me. I then blocked him. I don't want to hear another word from him. I wonder if he thought better of his actions though, as he deleted both of those tweets soon after.

Not only is the joke tasteless, but it's a HUGE rape trigger for unsuspecting followers, and makes a joke of something that has ruined countless women's lives. How is that funny? Why is that worth sharing?

When I was 11, I was babysitting my 5-year-old sister one summer afternoon while our parents were out. Our neighborhood was full of kids, and we visited her friend Raymond's house to hang out with them. Raymond was her age, and he had a 17-year-old half-brother. The little ones played in the playroom, while myself, the 17-year-old Billy, a 14-year-old boy, two 13-year-old girls, and a ten-year-old girl hung out in the living room and decided to play Truth or Dare. Yes, it was an odd assortment of ages, and unfortunately these kids tended to be quite cruel to me, but I desperately wanted to fit in.

The game started with stupid things: standing on your head, admitting crushes, etc. I should have known it was out of my league when I was dared to kiss the 14-year-old and he shoved his tongue so far down my throat, I literally gagged. That was my first kiss. I don't count it as such, but it technically was. Disgusting.

Not long after, I was dared to go into Billy's bedroom with him and let him go as far as he wanted until I said "Stop." Yes, I kept choosing Dare, because the deep parts of me they were trying to get at with Truth questions were even harder for me. Plus, picking Dare was "cool." So I did it. We went in his room.

He locked the door behind us, which immediately worried me. He gently pushed me and I fell on the bed in shock. I immediately said "Stop," but he laughed and said that's not how it works. He climbed on top of me, lifted my shirt, and started kissing my stomach. I again said "Stop!" and started to struggle. He got angry and tried to hold me down, but I was tiny and wiggly and squirmed away, unlocking the door and running out of the room before he could stop me.

I immediately grabbed my sister and headed home without saying a word to anyone else. I was still in shock. Even at that age, I knew it was disgusting for a 17-year-old to even WANT to do things like that to someone my age. I felt sick to my stomach and finally realized what messed-up kids these were. Spoiled rich brats that always got what they wanted and played with my life for entertainment.

I never told my parents. My father either wouldn't have believed me or would have tried to kill the kid; I had no idea. My mom would have been livid but too scared to do anything. It was easier just to forget about it. After all, I wasn't "really" raped, I told myself.

That fall I attended a friend's birthday party; a group of kids all my age that I trusted. They started playing Truth or Dare and I ran into the closet and cried. I couldn't play the damn game again till college.

Yes, I was lucky. I wasn't raped, my virginity wasn't ripped from me, I didn't have to endure someone unwanted inside of me. But I was violated, body and mind. I was hurt. I was damaged.

This is the tip of the iceberg of what rape does. I can't even imagine what it's like for others. I tell this story because it wasn't my fault and I'm not ashamed. Rape is never your fault. And it's NOT A JOKE.

Dreaming of Spring

It's almost here.  It's so close I can taste it.  It's nearly...SPRING!

You know what that means?  MOTORCYCLE WEATHER!

Since last year was my first full season riding my own motorcycle, this winter has been particularly hard.  And long.  And depressing.  Some days all I wanna do is go RIDE.  But I can't.  :(

It's so close now.  Weekend trips up to New Hampshire to try some new restaurant.  Quick evening jaunts to Woburn to hang out at our friend Mark's ice cream shop Nanabette's.  Aimless rides into western Mass. with our cameras in tow for scenic shots.  CAN.  NOT.  WAIT.

In the meantime, I'll do what I do best: shop online.  ;)  Or at least "window shop."  I've found a new site I really love called RevZilla.  They have a shop, forum, contests, and you can earn TeamZilla cash toward future purchases.  I just created an account, entered their current contest, and started browsing around today.

It actually turns out my husband bought his helmet from them last year.  Unfortunately he didn't clue me in to what an awesome website it is!  ;)

They have a pretty extensive selection of women's gear.  I've been lusting after the leather jackets, since mine is too big on me.  This is a particularly gorgeous one:

http://assets0.revzilla.com/product/river-road-womens-basic-leather-jacket

It's a STEAL at only $159.95.  I love the waist buckle and multitude of zippered pockets, and it's available all the way up to a 3X, which is rare.  I often only see up to L, sometimes XL.

I like my bright red helmet but always dream of getting one with a really fun design.  This one is too gorgeous:

http://assets0.revzilla.com/product/scorpion-exo-700-dahlia-helmet

I have a thing for red.  ;)

So here we are.  March 1...staring down the barrel of the equinox.  We just got some more snow, but it looks like we might finally be done.  As soon as the roads are 100% clear and the temp hits about 60...we're off!

The Etsy Drama

I'm sick of arguing about it on Twitter, and 140 characters cannot allow clear expression of my thoughts.  I just want to make my feelings clear and put this to rest.


I believe in free speech.  I also believe that:


...a privately owned store or marketplace has the right to refuse to sell something.
...a store or marketplace whose Terms of Service state: “Use of mature, profane and/or racist language or images in the public areas of your Etsy shop is not permitted. This includes your username, Public Profile, item titles, tags, avatar, banner and/or shop selections” and “Items that promote or glorify hatred, racial, religious intolerance" has a RESPONSIBILITY to uphold those terms.
...nudity and swearing are not automatically inappropriate or offensive.
...anything glorifying rape IS and always WILL BE automatically inappropriate and offensive, no matter the circumstances.
...glorifying rape or making fun of AIDS or Down's Syndrome is hateful and has no place on Etsy.
...other sellers suffer when Etsy refuses to shut down a horribly hateful and inappropriate store. People will boycott Etsy, and innocent sellers suffer.  Etsy still makes money off our listing fees, and do not suffer with the rest of us.
...banning a store that glorifies hatred and makes fun of tragic diseases and birth defects will not start a "slippery slope."  There is nothing slippery about this situation.  It will not lead to the banning of artistic nudity. It will keep Etsy the loving, supportive community it was meant to be.

In my opinion, this is appropriate:
(Caution, nudity)
http://www.etsy.com/listing/64890651/pastel-drawing-of-raven-haired-woman-on

And this is NOT:
http://www.etsy.com/listing/65234494/congratulations-card-youve-got-aids

That's the best way I can explain how I feel about this.  For a much more eloquent explanation of the situation, please see this PRBreakfastClub blog.  Thank you.

Geek dating

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Burnout

I have some serious WoW burnout. I haven't played in a couple of weeks.  I love Cataclysm, I'm level 83 now, and the new content is cool.  I'm working on guild achievements and rep, and striving toward my goblin trike.  But every evening, I sit down to game and think "Meh."  I just don't feel like it.

Part of the reason may be my new addiction to Plants vs. Zombies, which, funny enough, is a direct result of the PvZ quest in WoW.  I've beat it twice on my iPhone and three times on my computer.  I have a Zen garden that produces thousands of (virtual) dollars a day.  I LOVE THIS GAME.  So I play it instead of WoW.

I think my husband is going to cancel my WoW subscription if I don't play soon.  I want to play, in a way, but it's too much mental work.  I just want to veg out on front of a (fairly) mindless game.  I don't want to THINK.  =P

Hopefully I'll get the WoW bug back soon.  I really do miss it.  Any advice for curing game burnout?